CHAPTER VIII. Life And Character of the Reverend Lemuel Haynes

ORIGINAL ANECDOTES.

"Happily to steer From grave to gay, from lively to severe."

TRUTH requires that this part of Mr. Haynes's peculiar character should not be suppressed. It will be evidently difficult for those who were not acquainted with this eccentric and extraordinary man, to see the consistency of his very free indulgence in wit, with a uniform and pervading piety. In the view, however, of those who were intimately acquainted with him, it did not detract either from his Christian or ministerial character. It seemed to come unbidden, and unaccompanied by levity, its usual companion. Though we may deprecate every attempt by others to imitate this quality of his mind, yet any view of his character which does not embrace it will be evidently incomplete. Moreover, it is thought by those who best knew the circumstances of his location, the cunning and obtrusive skepticism, the bold and blasphemous infidelity, with which the region was infested, that this talent gave him an influence which could not otherwise have been acquired, and which inspired the ranks of infidelity with alarm at his approach.

He went one evening into a store where ardent spirits were drunk as well as sold. In his pleasant manner he addressed the company, "How d'ye do ?-how do you all do here?" The merchant, willing to jest a little, replied "Oh! not more than half drunk.” "Well, well," said Mr. Haynes, "I am glad there's a reformation begun."

When a revival of religion was in progress in his parish, and Satan gave intimations of dissatisfaction (as he is wont to do at such times), some of his students having been slandered for their zeal and activity, made their complaints to him of what they had suffered, and expected his sympathy and protection. After a pause, Mr. Haynes observed, "I knew all this before." "Why, then," said one, "did you not inform us?” "Because," said he, "it was not worth communicating; and I now tell you plainly, and once for all, my young friends, it is best to let the devil carry his own mail, and bear its expenses."

It is said that some time after the publication of his sermon on the text, "Thou shalt not surely die," two reckless young men having agreed together to try his wit, one of them said "Father Haynes, have you heard the good news?"-"No," said Mr. Haynes, "what is it?"—"It is great news, indeed," said the other, "and, if true, your business is done."-"What is it?" again inquired Mr. Haynes. Why," said the first, "the devil is dead." In a moment the old gentleman replied, lifting up both his hands and placing them on the heads of the young men, and in a tone of solemn concern, "Oh, poor fatherless children! what will become of you?"

Mr. Haynes was a strong advocate for an educated ministry, and often expressed his great regret that he had not enjoyed the inestimable privilege of a regular course of study. A young clergyman, in conversation on this subject, sincerely remarked, that he thought ministers without learning succeed well, and that ignorant ones usually do the best. "Wont you tell me, then, sir," said Mr. Haynes, "how much ignorance is necessary to make an eminent preacher ?"

"An important political office was to be filled in Vermont," says a respected correspondent, "and two candidates were before the people, both of whom were avowed and open infidels, and rather notoriously such. These being the favourites of the two political parties, serious people felt embarrassed, and many withheld their votes. On the day of election, when the people were thronging to the polls, Mr. Haynes, being a resident in the same county, had occasion to pass through B___ and made me a friendly call. As he rode up to the door, I met him with the cheerfulness and pleasure which his presence was apt to inspire; and feeling curious to know his impressions in regard to the all-absorbing question of the day, and willing also to try his wit, I said, as I took him by the hand, 'Well, Father Haynes, did you put in your vote for ___ before you left home? No;' he replied, without the least embarrassment or surprise,— "No; —when there are two can didates up, and one is Satan and t'other the Old Boy, I don't think it is much object to vote."

Mr. Haynes was quite remarkable for his catholic spirit towards Christians of all orthodox denominations. As a matter of course, they reciprocated his brotherly kindness. If occasion required, he could, without seeming to give the least offence, by a single brilliant stroke, allay every tendency to disputation An elder of high respectability, of the Baptist denomination, thus accosted him:-"Brother Haynes, I love you much, and I can cheerfully give you the right hand of fellowship, both as a Christian and a gospel minister; but I want you to follow Christ down the banks of Jordan."-" 0,” said he, "I am an old man, and the banks of Jordan are a great way off."---"You misunderstand me," repli ed the elder; "here is the creek close by-what hinders you to be baptized ?"—--"Oh, Brother " said Mr. Haynes, "that is not Jordan,-that is Otter Creek."

A minister having had his house burnt, and stating the circumstances of the event to Mr. Haynes, he added, that most of his manuscript sermons were consumed with the building. Mr. Haynes replied-" Don't you think, Brother , they gave more light from the fire than they ever gave from the pulpit ?"

A young man who had embraced the doctrine of universal salvation requested an introduction to Mr. Haynes, for the purpose of asking some questions on certain points of doctrine, when the following dialogue passed between them :

Universalist. "I understand, sir, that you hold that God has decreed all things that come to pass, and that he has elected some from all eternity."

Mr. H. "Well, what then?"

U "If God has decreed all things, I think it unjust for him to damn men for doing wrong, when it was decreed, and they couldn't help it."

Mr. H. "I should like to know what you hold about it."

U. "I hold, sir, that God has decreed to save all men."

Mr. H. "Well, well, upon your principles none can be saved-for if decrees destroy free agency, so that men can't be sinful and go to hell, they destroy free agency so that they can't be holy and go to heaven."

A physician in a contiguous town, of rather libertine principles, in removing to the western country, arrived in West Rutland with a retinue of his friends. Mr. Haynes, seeing the doctor drive up and call at the public house, immediately went there to give him and his family the parting farewell. After the exchange of salutations, Mr. Haynes said to him, "Why, doctor, I was not aware that you expected to leave this part of the country so soon. I am owing you a small account, which ought to have been cancelled before. I have not the money, but I will go and borrow it immediately." The doctor replied that he must have all his affairs settled, as he expected never to return to this part of the country. Mr. Haynes, as he went out to borrow the money, was called back by the doctor, who had previously made out a receipt in full, which he gave to him, saying, "Here, Mr. Haynes, is a discharge of your account; you have been a faithful servant here for a long time, and received but small support; I give you the debt." Mr. Haynes thanked him very cordially, expressing a willingness to pay; when the doctor added, "But, Mr. Haynes, you must pray for me, and make me a good man." Mr. Haynes quickly replied, "Why, doctor, I think I had much better pay the debt."

As he providentially met a clergyman who had recently returned from a tour in the northern part of the state, preaching false and pernicious doctrines, he said to him, "You have been out on a preaching tour, I understand; and what success do you meet with ?"—" O, good success, sir, very good success-great success," replied the clergyman; "the devil himself can never destroy such a cause." Mr. Haynes instantly replied, "You need not be concerned---he will never try.”

The late Royal Tyler, chief justice of Vermont, when on his circuit at Rutland, frequently spent an evening with Mr. Haynes, of whose talents and principles he ever expressed himself in terms of the highest admiration. He often entertained his family and friends, on his return home, with anecdotes, strikingly illustrative of Mr. Haynes's quickness of perception and reply The two following will furnish a specimen:

Happening one day to pass by the open door of a room where his daughters and some young friends were assembled, he thought, from what he overheard, they were making too free with the characters of their neighbours; and after their visiters had departed he gave his children a lecture on the sinfulness of scandal. They answered, "But, father, what shall we talk about? We must talk of something."-"If you can do nothing else," said he, "get a pumpkin and roll it about; that will at least be innocent diversion." A short time afterward an association of ministers met at his house, and during the evening discussions upon some points of Christian doctrine were earnest, and their voices were so loud as to indicate the danger of losing the Christian temper; when his eldest daughter, overhearing them, procured a pumpkin, entered the room, gave it to her father, and said, "There, father, roll it about, roll it about." Mr. Haynes was obliged to explain, and good-humour was instantly restored.

A clergyman of a neighbouring parish had persisted for some years in remaining a bachelor, contrary to the wishes of his people. When urged by them to marry, he put them off on various pretences: he must first get him a house, enlarge his library, &c. &c. But when all these things were accomplished, and he seemed as much indisposed as ever, they became impatient, and sent a deputation to Mr. Haynes, desiring him to persuade the doctor to get married. Mr. Haynes therefore called upon him, and urged him to comply with the wishes of his parishioners, saying that he could not feel that sympathy in their joys and sorrows which he would if he had a family of his own. The clergyman replied that he felt the force of his remarks, and was disposed to think of the subject seriously; adding, very emphatically, "I understand, Mr. Haynes, that you have some very fine daughters." Mr. Haynes instantly replied, "I have sympathy for you and your parishioners; but, really, I have taken great pains to educate my daughters, and much care to prepare them for usefulness, and I hate to throw them away."

"The last time that I saw Mr. Haynes," says a re spected correspondent, "was at the General Convention at Charlotte, in the fall of 1825; when, taking my hand, he said, 'They say you are making a book---be you?' Trying to do a little something, at it,' I replied 'Well,' said he, 'you have just as good a right as those that know how."

. Mr. Haynes being invited to solemnize a marriage in a neighbouring town, and having completed the ceremony, the young and rather ignorant bridegroom said to him, “What, sir, is your usual compensation?" Mr. Haynes humorously replied, "This depends entirely upon the parties; if they are promising and respectable, we of course receive a liberal reward; but if they are what we call poor things, but little is expected." A munificent marriage fee was instantly presented.

As Mr. Haynes was travelling in the State of Vermont, he fell in company with a person of infidel principles. He soon discovered himself to be an unprincipled scoffer at religion. In the course of conversation he demanded of Mr. Haynes what evidence he had for believing the Bible. "Why, sir," answered Mr Haynes, "the Bible, which was written more than a thousand years ago, informs me that I should meet just such a man as yourself."---"But how can you show that?" returned the caviller. "Why, sir, the Bible says, 2d Pet. iii., 3, 'In the last days scoffers shall come, walking after their own lusts."